And you pushed the boundaries, took risks. You bought alcoholwith your sister's ID. You sat on a bench by the seaside and thrilledin the sensation of the wind tickling your bare legs and tugging atyour hair, and loving low wayward strands stuck to your lip gloss. Yourepressed this memory as well: how happy and content you felt, dressedas... Alice, for the first time in public on a sunny day under acrystal blue sky.John gives you a brief hug."Should you have gone outside?" John asks.You feel a sudden surge of anger. "I was happy," you say. You feel awave of panic. "I had fun for the first time in years." You feeltears streaming down your face. "It was the best day of my life," yousay, and sob."Then it wasn't your fault," John says. "Happy moments are never ruinedby tragedy."You hug him tightly."I love you," you say."I love you too," he replies.And in that moment, you realise that John is about to leave."I have to go," he says.You take a deep breath, and nod. "I know." I don't. When he gazed at them he didn't have that "God I want to fuck you" look like most men. It was a look that I had seen from men like him many times before. It was the look of a man that wanted to be ordered lick them clean. I made a few trips by his desk even though it was out of my way just to see that look on his face. Over the next week I tried to get him to talk to me but with no luck. One day I was on the elevator with him and pretended to accidentally rub against him and I though the guy was going to jump off it before the door was opened. I knew this little mouse was going to be hard to trap but when I got him it was going to be worth it. It was the second week of working there that I got my first opening. On Friday there was to be a birthday party for the VP of his department at a nearby bar and all managers are required to go if they want to advance in the bank. The guys in the bank always invited the single female tellers so I was asked to attend. All week I asked.
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